


Self Portraits

by WWOM



Series: Far Cry 5 - Cell Phones of the Seeds [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Embarassing discovery, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Nudes, Sexual Humor, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 13:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15438552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WWOM/pseuds/WWOM
Summary: The deputy gets captured, as anticipated. She tried her best to escape from John's grasp, but no amount of effort would have been enough. She finds herself in his famous bunker, and in it, she makes an interesting find. The personal cell phone of John Seed. What she finds on it is even better...





	Self Portraits

**Author's Note:**

> I KNOW THE BEGINNING IS TOO LONG AND ELABORATE but I just. I wanted to write about the capture parties. They’re my favorite part of the game.

The Deputy had gotten a radio call from Dutch. He warned her that a capture party was likely going to come for her.   
She wasn’t scared. She didn’t even believe Dutch. No one had physically seen the capture party, and god only knows whether or not John was serious about getting her. He could have just meant that she was going to die.   
At least, she didn’t believe him until now. As two trucks pulled into Fall’s End, everyone knew they were screwed. A few cultists started heading to the church, others to the bar. Several even started to search the houses. It was obvious what they were looking for.  
Mary May yelled at everyone in the bar to grab their guns and stand their ground. There were as many peggies as resistance members in the town now.  
Dep unholstered her gun and tried to approach the door. She could easily handle this many peggies on her own. However, Mary May knew better. She grabbed Dep by her arm.  
“What are you doing, Deputy?” She talked loud enough to be considered a yell but quiet enough to not alert the peggies approaching the bar.   
“There’s not too many of them. I can probably take care of it.“   
“You really don’t know? Those damn bullets of their’s will knock you out cold. They’re here for you, Dep. It’d be wiser of you to hide,” She said, pushing Dep towards the back door.  
Mary knew that Dep would likely get captured at some point, but the later the better. If they could evade the capturers, they could send a message to that John Seed. She told Dep quickly that she could run, hopefully undetected, to the barn on the other side of the fields.   
The deputy wasted no time bursting out the door and sprinting like a madwoman to the barn. The peggies had only arrived a little bit ago, so none of them had made it to that part of the town yet. No one saw as she made her way across the field.   
The entrance to the barn was only a few yards away when a sharp pain was delivered to her back. She let out a pained cry as she hit the ground and closed her eyes.   
~~~  
The Deputy awoke tied to a very uncomfortable chair. Her exchange with John Seed would have been pretty enjoyable if it weren’t for the fact that he was going to torture Hudson.  
As he left the room, Dep heard a small clatter on the floor. She grinned as she scooted, in the chair, across the room, kicking the fallen cell phone along with her.  
She picked up the phone, after having thrown herself down the stairs, and put it in her pockets.  
~~~  
It had been a few days since her escape from John’s bunker. She still mourned the fact that she had to leave Hudson there.   
She pulled her jacket off its hook and felt a lump in the pocket. Intrigued, she pulled out what was in it. Instantly her mood was restored.  
The personal cell phone of John Seed.  
It was a pretty fancy one. A smartphone in nearly perfect condition. Why on Earth was he dumb enough to have it on him at the particular moment? Let alone drop it.  
He was probably a mess right now. Trying to find it, yelling at people and ordering them to help him search. When he realized whose hands it was in…  
Dep wasted no time turning it on.  
Unsurprisingly, it had a passcode. A keyboard popped up, so really it could be anything.  
The first password she tried was password. That didn’t work. So she typed three letters, genuinely hoping it would open the phone.  
It did.  
HOW shocking was it that the all mighty John Seed used the word Yes as his passcode. Truthfully, not very.  
Dep laughed for a solid minute before looking at what apps he had installed. Interestingly, he had one of those light bulbs that can change colors if you download the app that goes along with it. His light was set to a pale blue.  
Shocking.  
But Dep wondered what room he used it in. Probably a room no one ever went in. I mean, it is a little bit funny that he would own something so trivial.  
Dep continued exploring the other apps. One of the more interesting-sounding ones was the notepad. God only knows what was on there.  
She found prison truck schedules, a bunch of passwords and an address he apparently needed to remember. She sent all of it to herself, to show to Dutch. It was important information, after all.   
Dep decides reading all his texts might be a good idea.  
There’s a one-sided argument with Joseph, a heated debate about soup with Faith, and a comeback battle with Jacob. None of this is at all surprising. Alongside those is an unsent text to the deputy. It looks like instead of using the radio, John was going to text the deputy instead.  
She’s not sure why, but that would have been great. Having John’s phone number.  
Dep checks to see what John’s number is and sends that to Dutch, as well as the numbers of the other Seed siblings. That is also important information.  
She moves on again to look at John’s photos and wow, is she disappointed in herself for not doing that first. There are a few photos of pretty scenery and the other Seeds. The pictures make John seem like more of a human and less of a monster.  
Until she finds the dirty side of his camera roll.  
She drops the phone upon seeing them.  
Now Deputy knows that sometimes, people feel the need to take photos of themselves. Maybe their hair looks great or they bought a new outfit. But neither of those are the reason behind John’s self-portraits.  
In these photos he is without a shirt, without pants, and without any type of shame.  Do these pictures count as lust? Greed? Pride?  
Yes, it’s definitely pride.  
She absolutely could not stop herself from typing in Adelaide’s number and sending them. What kind of friend would she be if she didn’t show her John Seed’s nudes?  
Dep has to sit down to look at them all. There are at least ten and they are ALL beautiful. She’s always known that he was attractive, but she’s never seen him like this.  
She has never felt more blessed.  
~~~  
A few days later, Dep is still thinking about the pictures. Dutch has advised her not to do anything too daring, out of fear she would get captured again. She’s just been hanging out at Fall’s End doing nothing.  
And yet she still attracted trouble.  
Dep was sitting at a table in the Spread Eagle, scrolling through John’s Pinterest account when she heard shouting from outside. A huge rock flew through the window, shattering it to bits. Mary May yelled at her to get down, but she was too distracted by the familiar feeling of a bliss bullet piercing her flesh.  
~~~  
She awakens in an empty room. It had the distinct scent of John’s bunker, so Dep assumes that’s where she is. She can hear footsteps outside the door, and soon after, someone fiddling with the handle.  
She’s pleasantly surprised at the face she sees.  
“Well if it isn’t the pastor’s boy himself,” The deputy mocks John.  
“You are in no position to mock me,” He looks extremely fed up. Nice.  
“Actually I am, John. You see-”  
“Do not,” He cuts her off, “You are here because you saw something you should not have seen.”  
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Sinner,“   
John gawks at the deputy’s nerve. How dare she call him that? Not that she was completely wrong. He had failed to keep his pride in check…  
“Did you show…” He covers his face and trails off.  
“Did I show anyone your nudes? Is that what you meant, John?” She smirks  
Something about the Deputy saying his name like that made John want to crawl out of his own skin. He was angry, embarrassed, and aroused all at the same time. [same]  
“Listen here, Deputy. You will return that phone to me right now or I swear on my faith I will make you suffer.”  
“Go. Ahead.” She leaned forward and smirked.  
John raised his hand high as if he was going to slap her. He, however, could not.   
“Just…do not show anyone what you have seen.”  
“Fair enough.“   
John untied her and stood back, signaling she was free to go. She took a moment to admire him, letting her eyes wander around his body. He clearly noticed, judging by the way his hands were shaking. The amount of self-control he must have needed in that moment…  
It made deputy feel a little warmer.  
~~~  
Her and Adelaide often liked to discuss the attractiveness of what they saw that day.   
His stomach, his face, his arms, him in general.   
Dep still laughed. "Do not show anyone what you have seen.”  
Too late for that, now isn’t it


End file.
